today was one of those days where something is bothering you but you just dont know what it is. of course school was school. i had to stay after for biology regents because dan and lauren made me. i really didnt want to and i took it out on them and im sorry. but in the end im glad they made me because i need to pass this regents.. its not like i even want to its a must. then i went back to laurens and we chilled with kyle. at 5:00 my mom picked me up from laurens house and i rearranged my room i feel like my room changes my moods sometimes. like if its messy ill be lazy that day nd not do my homework later. if its clean ill get to my homework right away and read after. that brings me to this book i read called "cut" it was about  a troubled 15-year-old protagonist, Callie. Callie faces some difficult emotional hurdles as a guest at the residential treatment center where she has been sent because she cuts herself with sharp objects. she doesn't speak to her fellow guests, or even her doctors at first. be it what the anorexic guests don't eat or how the substance abuse guests cope. Details of her stressful, dysfunctional home life trickle out along the way; it's at these points that Lewis's vulnerable voice invites listeners to feel compassion for Callie. As Callie makes breakthroughs with her therapists and comes to better understand her behavior and its causes, Lewis meets the challenge of tearful scenes. this book made me think about so much. every page in the book made me think about how that reflected in my life. what if i just stopped talking? i wonder if i had that problem would i have to go to a place called "sick minds"? when i read this book all emotions were running through me. i was happy,sad,depressed,confused,disappointed all at the same time. i guess thats why i read these types of books. the ones about people hurting themselves, or crazy shit like that. i think about them and relate them to my life. i love books that i can understand and actually think about and relate to me and my life. thats a thrill for me. reading has become a big part of my life. oh and i thought i should tell you, you mean everything to me. we might fight and we might both have our bad days. but i will always be there when your having a bad day and i will try and understand. im sorry for what went on in the past and i hope it never happens again. i love you to much to loose you. i dont know what i would do without you. sorry for taking my bad days out on you,but thank you for trying to understand. i know i might not be the best, but nobodys perfect...right?

well im going to the library soon to study for biology with lauren....again. kbye.

"What is life but a journey to be taken, a story to be written, a picture to be drawn. In which a life consists a joyus birth, tragic losses, a celebration of memories, sorrow-filled misfortunes, a love to be found and a dark-colored death. Only they can discover their own destiny, write their own story, paint their own picture. Whether they choose to paint a dark, saddened sky or to paint a flower with brilliant colors overflowed with happiness. Whether to write a tragic ending or to fortell a victory celebrated by many. But the most important part is looking back and asking yourself if that's the way you really wanted it to be like? Because some things can never be erased."

-Evan Li!