i dont think my heart and my head can take all of this stress. first you disappear from my life for a while and today is like the first day were talking. not going to lie, i am over you but not completley. you still come up in my brain a few times a day. like i wonder what your doing and if your okay? but i guess i have to stop worrying. and my friends..ohgod. i dont think i have any anymore. i might change names. "katherine" is there for me most of the time but i feel like if i say something wrong she will get mad at me easily. i love her but im scared to say somethings. also, sometimes if i say something to her she will go tell someone else,or talk to someone else about it behind my back. but then sometimes i feel like she can relate to me and understands what im talking about. "katrina" is barely there anymore. i wish she was. its not like i dont want her as a friend but i feel like she doesn't want me as one. alot of people told me that she has many problems with me, but i dont know how you fix problems when we never talk about them. "Leslie", is a good friend...i think. sometimes i feel like i could never tell her anything but i want to. i wish i could. i feel like shes going to tell "katherine" everything. not like i care if she does but when i want her too keep something between me and her i feel like she cant. i wish i could say "shes a good listener" but shes not the greatest at it. most of the time she tries and understands things but doesn't because she never experienced them herself. shes the type of girl that nobody ever hurts because everyone loves her. "hannah" is a good friend too. i feel like i can talk to her without her telling anyone but sometimes i feel like she talks about her so much and shes a little conceited. thats not always a bad thing but i dont like conceited people. i love  her to death but shes not a very good listener. and she can get frustrated easily..very easily but we all have our flaws. "shelly" is a good friend. we dont hangout that much but when we do we have fun together. sometimes i feel like she doesn't want to be around me but i could just be paranoid. im not sure though. who knows. well i know this blog is super long and it took forever to write but its worth it all of this has been on my mind forever and its good to just get it off my chest and write about it. i think ive moved on to "dg2" but im not sure friday was the first time i hung out with him and it wasn't bad..in the end. and even with my future. i was thinking about what i want to do when i get older and im not even sure what that is. i know my dream job will never happen. i wish i still thought it did but i know it wont. well i should prolly stop writing. but before i go. i just want to say none of this is supposed to be mean. i know we all have our flaws. nobody is perfect. alright im going to sleep. im tired..bye.

"I'm fallin' in love,But it's fallin' apart.,I need to find my way back to the start.,When we were in love.,Oh things were better than they are.,Let me back into.,Into your arms."

-The Maine!