love.

Currently Listening: Cant Take That Away- Friday Night Boys

"when you fall in love. you fall hard. we’re human we can’t help it. when you love someone, in a way you are trading hearts. you unzip your chest, reach for the heart of your loved and slowly insert it to yours, hoping to lock it away for a forever or two. most of us know the feeling. or maybe not. love is a curiously sly cat. love is falling, but never touching the ground. love is falling up. coincidentally when sitting down to write out each chapter of my life, i always seem to spit out the same bunches of y’s, o’s, and u’s. you find the person you love and it’s like a car crash. life turns to slow motion. it starts with the loss of breath, slowly makes your insides tingles, and ends with your cheeks being pulled up and away..almost like the puppet master himself is tugging at the strings connected to the corners of your mouth. love is your heart smiling in a monumental way. you start spending time with the person you care for and it only gets better. your nose starts to scrunch your nose a lot more…when you laugh, you laugh differently than you ever had before..because this time it’s real. you become attached to living life horizontally, and hell…you even start watching different tv shows and trying foods that you swore on the bible itself you’d never try. yes..maybe even colliflower. why do we fall in love? is it because we don’t want to be alone? can we help it at all? can love be influenced? whatever and however this little guy works…the job almost always gets done until your slow dancing in the kitchen listening to people with far better class, style, and voices sing to you about songs that make you feel like maybe somewhere in this world there is a niche you can finally fit happily into. and you know what? there might even be space for two.

you think about them everyday. you’ve hung all of your memories around all over your mind’s fridge with cute little magnets. you saved the tree bark from the tree you kissed them against. you’ve kept the movie stubs where you snuck out and caught a late night flick about everlasting love. remember walking out and telling them how the love in the movie was nothing compared to the one that you two shared? you hear their voices in the static between the radio stations that play the same 10 songs that they did three months ago. you see their face in your eyes when you look into the mirror for sympathy on the bi-daily basis. loving them was like swinging on a tire swing. hearing their voice sing into your ear was honestly the glue that held your bones together. you’d rather be able to lay under the night and just replay “us” in your head and smile to yourself than hold anyone else. you know it might not last forever. but who is to say forever starts or ends today? just like an old lamp, when the sun burns out…you just have to put a new lightbulb in. i don’t know what this all means..or what i’m really saying. i just know that this world has become so materialistic and none of that matters. my dad taught me my whole life that love is the only thing that matters in the end. we are all going through rough times…but things will get better. find someone that shines through it all. i’m still looking for that. i’m just like you guys. i want the ocean eyes. the california mind. the framed angel sky. i know it may take some time…but one day..i’m going to meet a girl who’s smile i use to speak, and though coins might make the clocks tick, love makes the hearts beat."

- Alexander DeLeon

i know that is long and annoying to read, but its worth it. it amazes me how one person can inspire me so much. every single blog he writes inspires me to go onand live life to its fullest. i thank him so much for that.. iloveyou.

i have to say yesterday was the best day of my life. although, me lauren and hallie waited in the cold for 7 hours, it was so worth it. seeing the bands that have changed my life,so worth it. today was a really good day too. i went into school just to see you. i took a math quiz and got 100! woah. good deal. then after school was good. i went to chemistry extra help and i am actually getting this stupid shit. then, i stayed outside with kristina, dan and ralph for a while till the late busses come. but he has to tell me something. kristina and lauren are convinced he likes me, but i dont think so. i think hes just trying to be a good friend. idfk. next time we hang out he said he will tell me...so fucking scared. i shouldnt be scared right? oh well. i hope tomorrow is as good as today was. except i have tee-tees birthday tomorrow..funtimes! alright, i should go study and finish off my homework..BAI!

Secret #13: i wish i could bring him back, just to see her really smile again, none of those fake smiles.

" I'm regreting it tonight,Pushing you away,I know you don't believe me,But I just wanna say,I remember conversations,Before I gave up on me,Well if it's any consulation,I remember everything,And you can't take that,No you can't take that away"

- Friday Night Boys!