Joys Are Often The Shadows,Cast By Sorrows..

today was a good day i guess. i woke up and me and lauren just sat around. we made braclets. then after that we really didnt do much. we went back to her house and did the laundry. kristen and hallie came over. it was nice to see kristen..after all i havent seen her. i dont think she wants to bother with me anymore but i could be wrong. i hope im wrong. we walked to chris's house. i mean i guess i can understand why shes worried. if i havent heard from you in 9 days. i would be sad to. but i dont think i would walk to your house. actually, i know i wouldn't.  but if im lucky you wont do that to me. i feel bad for her. i really do. i might not show it but i would want my friends there for me if that happened to me. and im sorry i haven't really been there for her except yesterday. well then when we got to laurens walked to chris's, did laundry and then she came back to my house to watch because i said so. that is such a good movie. it reminds me of my mom and my sister. anyways, now lauren left and im home alone. when im alone i tend to think alot. my stomach gets in nots though. im not sure why. well i was thinking about my best friend. well one of them. and i know shes going through a tough time. she lost something that can never be returned. you cant just get another one. when its gone. its gone forever. i just found out she wanted it till she was married. just like me. i was always afraid to tell my friends but one day we were talking and i just came out and said it. so i told her  "if you feel it, say it. no ones ever going to make fun of you. you should have spoke up if it meant that much to you. you shouldn't be the one crying anymore." we were talking about the kid that she lost it to. and how he took it from her even when she said not to. she shouldn't be the one crying. he should. he needs to realize he has effected someone life forever. besides, he doesn't deserve her anyways. i just hope she knows that now. but she loves him. now that you cant change. now if only we knew what he was thinking...oh well. the world may never know. i wish i could be a better friend, a better person. i just need to figure out how to do that and then im on my way. well i guess im going to go to sleep now since theres nothing else to do. goodnight. 

p.s i love you. 

"I can hear it in your voice,You care,Let me run my fingers through your hair,I'll keep you company at night,And baby,
I'm here to make this right..."

-The Cab!