50.

^ im stupid.

Currently Listening: Car Crash- Matt Nathanson

i dont know anymore. thats really what it comes down too. everyday is almost the same. i stay after, go home, do homework, eat, sleep. if anything happens in between its mostly negative. nothing positive. there needs to be more positive in my life. i think every guy i even have feelings for likes my best friend. i dont know. i guess i cant worry about that shit anymore. im really trying to do better in school. everyone knows what they want to do as a career........except me. the things im interested in, aren't even real jobs. and another thing. i used to be so creative in this thing. i guess i gave up on writing so much because nobody reads it anyway. ohwell. and plus, i dont even have time. i guess i should start making time, right? ALICE IN WONDERLAND COMES OUT IN 11 DAYS. okay sorry. maybe edit later.

"I'm wide awake and so alive, ringing like a bell, tell me this is paradise, and not some place i fell, cause i keep on falling down. i want to feel a car crash, i want to feel a cats sides, i want to feel a bomb drop, the earth stop, till im satisfied. i want to feel a car crash cause im dying on the inside. i want to let go and know that ill be alright."