88.

it is now 5:00, i am awake and we are leaving in an hour to go to the airport. wont be writing till tuesday...ohboy.

87.

i guess im going to write today since im going to florida tomorrow. there's apart of me that wants to go and then theres a part of me that is dreading it. anyway, its weird. me and my best friend have this thing. i know when shes sad. its kinda like i feel it. idk. its hard to explain. even if were not talking, ill know shes upset. oh and btw, what is your problem? maybe its because we hangout alot idk. but i feel like you single me out sometimes on what im doing thats bad. if i do something, you will tell me to stop and get igegnik'top at me. but if someone else does it, suddenly it doesnt matter. honestly, i dont want to start a fight. but i just dont get it. i know i pick on you sometimes, and i don't show when i'm happy for you. but even if i don't show it, i am. and even when i do pick on you, it doesn't mean i don't love you. whatever. im just going to ignore it. it doesnt even matter. well. ill miss everyone. even though i know she wont miss me. bye! :]

p.s. these are the times where i miss you most.

"when i stare in your eyes, it couldn't be better."

86.

85.

my life lately.

84.

p.s get the fuck over yourself.

83. Friday, March 27th, 2010

82.

Wednesday March 24th, 81.

shit, i missed a day.

80.

79.

78.

p.s. 10 days..

76.

1. i love my best friends.

2. im going to try to do this more often.

3. nuffsaid.

75.

Currently Listening: Phoenix- Cady Groves

i dont know if im going to write anymore. it doesnt even really help me get my anger out. but when i need to write, i will. maybe ill just start doing pictures. its not like anyone really reads this thing anyway..

74.

Currently Listening: All Again For You- We The Kings

i have to study alot for chemistry, english and spanish, so im going to make this quick. today was a good day. felt good for the most part. tomorrow is friday thank god. i think tomorrow is gonna suck but lets hope its not :] TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE~ tomorrow night is spotlight so thats something to look forward too. oh and im not sure why all of a sudden im starting to care about you. its kinda weird..ahaha okaay bye.

p.s. its kinda like you never existed.

"You're holding something in tonight, And I can tell you're not alright, Your poker face concealing, All the cards that you're not dealing, Cross your arms, avert your eyes, You're like a child ashamed to cry"

73.

too busy.

72.

Currently Listening: Everybody Knows- Alex Lambert

okay, kinda random. i officially hate american idol. i can not believe they kept fucking tim urban that cant sing at all and let go alex. like there isint even a comparison between them. im so upset. LOL. IM SO STUPID. anyway, today was okaay. 91 on spanish! im understanding math at the moment which is good i guess. i need to do good on my quiz friday in chemistry. and OMGOMG. CHORUS TEST TOMORROW....KILLME. IDEK WUT IM SINGING. i should probably stop ranting about everything and go study. but before i go i jusst want to say thank you to my friends. i know your probably sick of me and just want me to "gtfo" half the time. even though i dont show it all the time, i love you. all of you. you've been there for me through almost everything and you dont know how much that means to me. you know exactly what to say when im ranting about everything. i love you and im always here. ~nojudgingincluded~ :] possibly edit later..byee.

P.S. i cant hate someone i don't know.. and maybe i wouldn't "give you looks" if you didn't call me a whore to the world, cause we all know i am "a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money " and maybe didn't stare at me from down the hall way...goodtalk.

"love is the person, you think about during the sad songs"

71.

Currently Listening: Nothing..?

wow. i dont know why but i was so tired today. i came home and went to sleep for like 5 hours. yet im still tired? idfk. and another thing i dont understand, is im trying. so hard. and maybe nobody sees that, and if not whatever but i know myself im trying. and it sucks to see that i only get a 65 for trying. this is why i keep giving up. anyway, not much to say for today except i bet tomorrow will be 10x worse. i dont want to sing for my singing test. whatever happens will happen.

p.s stop staring.

"Do you want to know the truth? I'm scared, okay? I'm terrified to get too close to you because I don't want to get my heart broken. I'm afraid that if we take this further I'm just going to get hurt and to be honest, I don't think I could take that again."

70.

Currently Listening: Me, You And My Medication

today was okay i guess. went to the movies at 4:30 with people. it was really a good movie. i didnt like the end though. one thing that actually gets me mad, when people say "im obsessed with everyone." cause honestly im not. im allowed to set guys as my backgrounds because there cute. doesn't mean im OBSESSED with them. but good try. i honestly dont want to school tomorrow to see you. its going to be kinda awkward since you didnt answer. probably creeped out. whatever. oh and im not a "creep" either. anyway, the fact that im thinking about you makes me sick.

p.s. i hope to see you again soon.

"were all looking for something, to take away the pain."

-BLG

69.

not gonna write today because i wrote today about yesterday....make sense?

68.

^mybestfriend.

Currently Listening: Two Is Better Than One- Boys Like Girls

i didnt write friday causse it was laurens sweet 16! it was so much fun. i danced with the cutest kid ever. hes laurens 2nd cousin and his name is jared. it was kinda awkward though. what happend was, taylor went up to him and told him i wanted to dance. he comes up to me and goes, "your friends told me you wanted to dance?" i said "im sorry i didnt even know they did that. i didnt say anything." then he puts his hand out and goes "are you gonna dance with me or not?" he told me he didnt believe me that i didnt want them to say anything but at the end he did. two is better than one is our song....LOL IHAVEPROBLEMS. ohboy. he was adorable. green eyes, musician and adorable. what is better than that? lauren better set us up. ahahaha. well other than that, her party was amazing and she looked so pretty. i hope she had fun. and the hotel was so much fun too! haha. oh and that feeling when i saw you and seans sweet 16 is completley gone now. i miss the old you. but that person isint coming back anytime soon so im over you. i dont know whats going on tonight but ohwell. ahaa. imma go unpack. write later.bye!

p.s your adorable.

"now im thinkin' two is better than one"

67.

Currently Listening: Take It All- Cady Groves

so busy. no time to write. i got my nails done and i love them kinda hahaha. now studying for math & chem. possibly write later....TOMORROW <3!

"in a town like this i tumble down, down."

66.

Currently Listening: Second & Sebring- Of Mice And Men

the fact that we have been "silently fighting" for 4 days now is really annoying. i dont even know what i did wrong. and honestly, you say its bad for me to be scared of you? well i am. maybe thats the reason i go to laurens everyday. because im scared to stay home alone with you. so, thats why. asshole. anyway, today was alright. better than the other 2 days. 2 DAYS TILL LAURENS PARTY. im way to excited hahaa. ohhwhatever. theres not much else i have to say...kbye.

p.s. hahahahhaa. joke.

"And I know that it's a wonderful world,But I can't feel it right now,Well I thought that I was doing well, But I just want to cry now,Well I know that it's a wonderful world,From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me,Sometimes I feel so full of love,It just comes spilling out,It's uncomfortable to see,I give it away so easily"

- James Morrison

65.

Currently Listening: Everybody Knows- John Legend

today was suprisingly better than yesterday. afterschool, i hungout with tommy LOL. haven't done that in a while. it was alright. i found out what your weakness is. beprepared. it was a long, okay day to sum it up. my friend gave me her phone, but i left the phone charger with hallie. my phone plan is up, so when i get my blackberry in "5 business days" im going to get a new phone! finally~ im not really in the mood to write today either. 3DAYS!. XD oh and im going to try my goals for a month starting tomorrow...wishmeluck. okay bye.

p.s. im not sure why i care so much..

"It gets harder every day, but I can’t seem to shake the pain,I’m trying to find the words to say, please stay

It’s written all over my face, I can’t,Function the same when you’re not here,I’m calling your name but no one’s there,And I hope one day you’ll see nobody has it easy, I still can’t believe you found somebody new, But I wish you the best, I guess."

- John Legend

64.

Currently Listening: Look After You- The Fray

wow. um today sucked? yes. i think almost everything that could have gone wrong..went wrong. my phone broke, bad grade on chemistry, everyones mad at me for something. just awesome. and honestly, enough with the bullshit. if you actually do like me, then why dont you try answering my texts once in a while. even if you dont like me back, we can still talk at least. nope. ignorning me is the mature thing to do. whatever. i wish i didnt have homework...but i do. okay. im going to go do that. edit later possibly. bye.

p.s i just wish i knew. thats all im asking for, is to know.

"i cant wait to figure out whats wrong with me, so i can say this is the way i used to be."

-x2?

63.

Currently Listening: Painting Flowers- All Time Low

good day. saw alice in wonderland. it was amazing. decided im having a sweet 16. kinda relieved. went to tees and thats it. no time to write again. IMSORRY

p.s i miss you? ahahah soweird.

"only the good are mad."

62.

i honestly dont feel like writing right now. maybe tomorrow..

61.

^ stolen from kristinaa.

Currently Listening: Harder Than You Know- Escape The Fate
i dont even know how to explain this day. it was a mix of good and horrrible. i dont get how i flip out once and i get called a bad friend and a hyprocrite. whatever. its over now. but just think, i have feelings and everytime you think im getting defensive for no reason...theres always a reason. people dont even know half of the things i think about or half the time, know how im feeling. it might seem like i tell people everything and have no problem doing it but i do. i cant open up to people just like that. i never was able to do that. i guess i never felt like i can open up to anyone and actually trust them. i guess you can say i have trust issues..? whatever. and honesly, i try to listen. i try to help and try to make you feel better. but i guess thats not working. i dont know. and seriously, i wish i had as many friends as you. whatever. cant change that now. i guess i should just stop worrying. espeically about you. ohwell. lets see how well that works. well tonight, im sleeping at laurens cause my dad is working till 1 and my moms at teetees. shes getting alot worse.....great. makes my day 10x better. whatever, bye till tomorrow...iguess.

p.s. everything i do, reminds me of you.

" and if you want me then,i guess ill have to go, not loving you is harder than you know."

60.

Currently Listening: Daisy- The Maine!

i hate to say this, but sometimes you make me feel stupid. like both of you do. i know you dont mean it and maybe its just me but idontknow. im trying to do better and its not really showing a difference. you might think i dont care about my grades and i might say i dont, but of course i do. anyway, today was okaay. theres not much to say, except im really starting to like you. because if i didn't like you then i wouldn't care about anything you did...but i do. today in chorus we talked about challenge day. i really cant wait for next year so i can do it. everyone says it changed them and they dont look at people the same way anymore. they dont judge anyone. and thats what im trying to do. one smile can change a persons life.

p.s. you never know whats going on in my life, so before you start to talk....dont.

"He’s like a curse, he’s like a drug, You get addicted to his love, You wanna get out but he’s holding you down
‘Cause you can’t live without one more touch."

- Carrie Underwood.

59.

i dont have any time to write today. 4 quizes tomorrow and a thesis paper do....ohshit.

CANT WAIT FOR THE WEEKEND. GOOD THING ITS ONLY WEDNESDAY.

58.

^ hopefully my time will come soon.

Currently Listening: I Want Something To Live For- The Rocket Summer

i have this empty feeling. i dont know what it is. and everytime something bad happens, all i want to do is text you and tell you how i feel. because i know you would listen to me. well, i shouldnt think this anymore. because i know you wouldnt care. and im starting to get the feeling you never did. you will talk about every one of my friends to everyone else. but my name remains unmentioned. and im trying to figure out if that is a bad or good thing. i just want to know what made you change. and why. i dont know why i still have these feelings. and they come back at the worst times..i think im starting to like someone else. but its too soon to tell. and try not to take all of your anger out on me. like thats ever gonna happen. you dont know how my day went at school..maybe because you dont bother to ask..ever. so instead of yelling at me and telling me im an idiot and im not as smart as i think, try to shut the fuck up. i should be doing my homework because i actually have so much to do, but all i want to do is sleep. there is something wrong with me.

p.s. i love you.

"i cant wait to figure out what's wrong with me, so i can say this is the way that i used to be."

57.

Currently Listening: HeartBreak Warfare-John Mayer

first time i curled my hair inforever. im suprised people actually liked it. anyway, not bad day. after school i stayed after with hallie, lauren & kristina. we met up with tyler after. i just dont know what to do. anyway, i dont really have much to say so i guess i will just write tomorrow. bye.

P.S iloveyou.

"i am comfortably confused."

- I See Stars