today started of horribly. even though harry potter was amazing. it was the funniest harry potter's but still good. i didn't really sleep well. maybe its because i moved my room...again. idk. maybe i just have a lot on my mind. well, Lauren's coming here soon and i think were going to go for a walk. then i have gerwin at 4. im so fucking scared for Thursday. its my first day and im convincing myself im going to wheel someone into the walls. i know im going to do something wrong. i dont know where anything is in the place. who do i ask? the 100 year old im weeling around? she will lead me out the door and down the street. whatever lets hope everything works out okay. after gerwin i might go to Lauren's or whatever. we dont even know yet. well Lauren's here and im going to go. but before i do, i dont like this. this is what i mean. you never believe me anymore. i met him after we broke up. yah i do still miss you..alot. but i dont know why you make me feel bad all the time. well you just texted me. and you dont want to get back together. i finally get my feelings straight and you change yours. well, i cant change your mind. but just try and remember..i still love you and will never forget my first love. i should go talk to lauren. bye.

"I don't wanna be afraid,I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today,And know that I'm okay,Cause everyone's perfect in their usual way,So you see, I just wanna believe in me"

- LOL.