to stressed and tired. write tomorrow. bye.

The silence isn't so bad, Till I look at my hands and feel sad, Cause the spaces between my fingers Are right where yours fit perfectly.

Currently listening~ rainbow-colbie caillat

`i need to go to the beach at night soon. its been to long and its the only place i can get all of my thoughts out.
i cant do this. pretend like im okay when im really not. im not happy with anything anymore. every decision i have made has been a disappointment in the end. i have made so many mistakes. ive given up my closest friends was one big one. theres also another one that im not going to even bring up. anyways, today sucked but not too bad. i woke up and went out wiff my sister and mom oh and tee tee (: haha we went to target and then i went with jay and sarah to move her into college. its amazing me how school is almost starting. its going to suck so much. oh well. cant dread on it. i just feel like im drifting away from everyone. i feel like just because ive dont dance around in bras, sing miley cyrus and talk in weird accents nobody wants me around anymore. now another one of our friends filled that slot so im pushed to the side. i just wish i knew what they were thinking. but some of them just dont like to tell me...or talk to me. i always try to invite everyone to my house because i know what it feels like to be left out. but clearly they dont. whatever. going to watch degrassi. bye.

p.s why does this always happen to me?

"I can't get you out of the sunlight,I can't get you out of the rain,I can't get you back to that one time,'cause you and me are still recovering,So let's just try to cool it down,The fighting is feeling like flames,And let's just try to slow it down,We crash when we raise"

- colbie caillat <3

Currently Listening~ vanilla twilight- owl city<3

today was a boring day. i woke up and got my hair straightened. it took about 4 1/2 hours for the whole thing. i sat in the chair and pretty much did nothing. then i went to kohl's. i bought a big Syracuse sweatshirt haha. its really comfy though! after that i went to dinner with my mom and dad. of course nothing but negative came out of their mouths. my mom doesn't stop complaining how i need to "openmycircleoffriends" and my dad complains about my sister nonstop. well, other then friends and guys...im pretty happy. not including my schedule. it fucking sucks. i have nobody in my gym class or my health class. i NEED someone in my gym....its a problem haha. i just have one problem. you. i hate you then i miss you. i dont want to be your friend but i do? i want you to text me but i dont want to answer sometimes. this sounds so weird but this is how i feel. i dont know what to do. i have to get over you because i know you feel diffrently and you have moved on. so thats what i have to do. i just feel like i dont want to be with anyone but you right now. maybe that will all change when school starts, im hoping it will. well, i should go clean before teetee gets here and watch degrassi :x hopefully, tomorrow will be a funfilled day (: byee!

"I'll watch the night turn light blue,But it's not the same without you,Because it takes two to whisper quietly,The silence isn't so bad,Till I look at my hands and feel sad,'Cause the spaces between my fingers,Are right where yours fit perfectly"

the spaces between my fingers are where yours fit perfectly.

today was a pretty good day. woke up at hallies. we went to the mall wednesday and it was pretty great. one of the greatest days ever. then today, i went shopping with my mom. bought some cute clothes for school at delias. then me lauren hallie and eric went to ralphs house. it was pretty fun. ive been loving owl city this week haha. they've been making me feel better about alot of things i was confused about. i mean, i still am a little confused but i think ive got everything under control. i just needed some time to myself to think things through. i catch myself thinking about you more and more each day. im hoping its only this week because i dont want to. i hate it. sercretly, sometimes i feel like i will die alone and never find anyone. i know thats really dramatic but i really hope that doesnt happen. whateverrr. im somewhat excited for school EXCEPT gym, lunch and health. oh and about me having study hall?! no. thats not happening. well im getting my hair straightned tomorrow which is exciting (: going to go watch degrassi and paint my nails! hhaahaha. i dont do that alot..alrighty baii!

"the spaces between my fingers are where yours fit perfectly."

-Owl City<3!

im letting her change me. shes getting inside my head and im allowing it. i thought this would make me feel better but somehow its making me feel worse. ive made a horrible mistake and theres no turning back now.

today i went to gurwin and came home. thats all i did all day. when i got home i found a new song called "i look so good" by jessie james. i usually dont listen to stuff like that but it made me think about what my mom said to me a few days ago. "how do you expect someone to love you, if you dont love yourself?" so i pretty much did everything for me. i actually fixed myself up for once. well, considering i thought i was going out with my mom to the mall..well, thats not happening anymore. we went out to dinner though. anyways, i was tempeded to text you today but im glad i didnt.ohwell. gurwin tomorrow and then im not sher whats going on after. i was supposted to ask you to hangout but i decided to wait a while for that. going to watch a movie or degrassi now. BYEE

" absence makes the heart grow fonder

~idek why i put this picture...?

today was a great day. except you never left my mind. first me and kristina went to laurens house and we made braclets. then like 20 minutes later we went back to my house to eat and clean my room haha. then, we walked to target to get..things lmfao. then we got ralphs ices and went home. but through that whole amazing day how is it that i was still worried about you? why? i barely know you. if you read this your probably thinking im the biggest freak ever but i dont care. well, i think you made it pretty clear that you hate me. everyone says it. dont let me down easy. id rather hear it straight up from you then you just log off on me. whatever. i guess ill have to get over you. just thought i saw something diffrent in you. even though i never met you? whats wrong with me. i have the worst luck with guys. i seriously dont know. i have gurwin tomorrow. just what i want to do. i dont even think im doing anything after. screw my life. whatever. im thinking about deleting my facebook. it just starts trouble. alright night.

"iit`s hard too wait around,for something you know won't, happen but iit`s, even harder when you, know that iit`s all you want c

~ we're getting married...
yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. woke up went to hallies, helped out with her sister party, then we went to see the cab with mike, hallie and kristina. i love them. after the show i went to laurens house wiith max...LOL. we had a good talk and im glad we have everything resolved. im glad she told me who actually wrote that text message. anyways, the only thing that made my day not amazing was when this kid got mad at me for not answering my phone. he said he called because he wanted to get the information for the show. now he wont answer me. i didnt get any calls from him so i dont really know if he actually called or not. every time i text him hes like "whos this?" so how did he call me? idrfk. now im still trying to talk to him but he wont answer me. i tried sending him a message on facebook but i dont think hes going to answer. but seriously WHY WOULDN'T I WANT HIM TO COME?! i wanted to hangout with him wednesday or thursday but looks like thats not going to happen. why wont he be mature though? why dont you just come out and say whats bothering you? nothing can be resolved if you dont answer me. whatever, maybe this is just an excuse to not talk to me because i was annoying? idfk! well kristinas blog almost made me cry. like i think i feel the same way with both of them. and i am so glad she feels like we can keep her secrets and she can tell us anything because she can. she shouldnt be scared that im going to run around screaming out everything she tells me. i would never. i know how hard it is to trust someone. but i would never do that. its not right. well today i think im hanging out with both of them neyways. were gonna call him! HAHA he better not hangup on mee. alright baii<3!

"treat others the way you want to be treated

ive been thinking about everything thats been going on lately. and all i have to say is fuck all of them. you shouldnt need others to make you happy. do whats best for you. you cant force someone to be your friend. and even if you could, why would you want that? anyways, i think ive been to stressed over everything. even the little stuff. i ithink thats why i get mad and take it out on people. i got to learn how to NOT do that. well, things are going to change. i dont think i can count on my fingers how many times ive said that but i mean it. my mom told me today "how can you expect people to love you, if you dont love yourself." i guess that little quote made me think..anyways, im excited for this change. it might not be drastic where you can see it but you will be able to tell. at least i hope so. anyways, i have erased you out of my memories. i dont have any feelings anymore. im not bitter anymore. i know you like her. its okay. im just upset you couldnt tell me and you act like were not friends. OH WELL. not going to let it bother me. like my dad said "brush the small things off your shoulders." besides, nothing can make my good mood go away. not even you. THE CAB TOMORROW WITH THE BEST! :D so excited! well, i should get ready. i better be able to give them my 4 page letter. BAI!

oh p.s i keep asking because i dont like being lied to. and i dont think you would like it either. whatever, you say you dont? fine. whatever. but you hurt a close friend of mine. even though it ming not seem like it she is. so you might want to get your feelings straight and not hurt her again. thanks.

today is a boring day so far. woke up and pretty much did nothing. finished my summer reading. its like a weight was just lifted off my shoulders. yesterday i hungout with mike and hallie. we were supposed to go bowling but they only had lanes for the leauges so we just went back to my house and watched music videos. hhahaha as usual. anyways, i just read yer blog for some reason. and this is me answering i guess. yeah ive been a bitch lately but thats because i have alot going on right now. i dont talk about it because im not the person that goes HEY LISTEN TO MY PROBLEMS! i keep inside till i know i can talk about it. listen, me and my mom talked the other day and she said i have to be honest with myself. i am, i dont like him, i dont care if you like him and i dont care if you hangout with other people because i know i can do the same. i just feel like your not telling me something. if you dont like him oh well maybe im just dreaming but i think its obvious hes got a feeling for yew. if i did care i would tell you. like i did with brian. and about the other thing, i really dont care if you hangout with other people but i just feel like were drifting away from eachother. i feel like im always the one that has to text you and ask if you want to hangout. i had a friend like that to and i gave up asking her and then we just stopped being friends. its hard to get old friends back. i would know. its not the fact that you freaked on me once its what you said when you freaked out. take a step in my shoes. how would you feel if it seemed like brian liked me and we hungout alone 3 times? wouldnt you be a LITTLE curious to see if i liked him. i know thats off topic but still. and i dont look yer way anymore because i dont want to always be the one to call and make plans. USUALLY i am, not all the time but most of the time. remember when you and kristina had trouble or w.e with that? and you guys got over it right? i just dont want to loose another friend. and i know im not doing a good job at keeping one but whatever. im just not making a big deal about this anymore.i know you say im still your best friend, but it just doesn't seem like it anymore. and we can all be mean sometimes. we all have our days were someone says one thing and you just freak out. maybe you dont but some people do. everyones diffrent and ive had alot going on. ever think thats why i was mean? :/. im not trying to sound mean at all. thats not the goal of this. like you said this isint a hard problem to fix. when me, you and hallie hungout i kinda felt leftout. i guess i know what kristina says when she says we leave her out when all 3 of us hangout.

p.s THE CAB TOMORROW<3!>

"very time you walk in the room,Can't help myself i wanna be with you,Hit the mic, a quick check one, two,Singing

out my lungs just to reach you,I'm alive,And I keep my cool one more time,And you just keep on walking by"

-Holiday Parade<3!

yesterday was pretty good. after tropical smoothie we went back to laurens for like 10 minutes and then i went home. i went out to dinner with my parents and then me and my mom went shopping. i got new shoess! there adorable vans haha. anyways, today seems like its going to be bad. im not sher why it just does. im supposted to go to the outlets with my mom when she gets home from the gym and then hangout with hallie and kristinaa. tonight im going bowling! haha ohdamn. and SUNDAY THE CAB IS GONNA BE AT ROOSEVELT FIELD MALL! im so there. spent about an hour freaking about it this morning haa. alright i should go clean more and start my project. BYE.

p.s. i wanna show you what its like; give him a taste of his own medicine.

"Everything you do makes me fall in love with you,I fall a little harder each and every day,And it hurts so bad to know what we had is gone,But I'll treasure every letter that you sent"

-TSA! <3

4 days of NOT writing...damn. thats alot haha. well we came back from hershey tuesday and it was so great. i didnt think it was going to be as good as it was. anyways, yesterday me and hallie went to the beach. SO MUCH FUN! she made me go in the water and im glad she did. even though we got smashed around by the waves and the "crabs" were biting our feet lol. good day. then we went bowling with tommy and max and then i slept at hallies. we woke up and ate breakfast then i left haa. now im getting ready and im going tropical smoothie with kristina, kristen, and lauren. then were going back to laurens. thats good i guess. havent seen kristen in a while. then maybe after im going back to halliesss! idek haa. well i guess i should go.

p.s im so over you. you can go lie and complain to someone else because im fucking sick of yer shit.

R.I.P CIWWAF

""You're only as tall as your heart will let you be, And you're only as small as the world will make you seem "

-NEVERSHOUTNEVER.

I guess i should write now considering i might be going away in a few minutes. were not to sher of where were going yet but its between out east or hershey. either way my mom said were sleeping in a hotel for the night. that should be fun. i need a break from all this drama. facebook just makes it worse. anyway, i guess i should go finish packing. kbye.

p.s your so fake. you act like this innocent kid when inside, your just an asshole, who doesnt care about anyone else. oh and i dont miss talking to you. because im fine without you.

"to be a friend it takes an effort of two."

today was so boring, i woke up and found out were not leaving till tomorrow. fuckingawesome. so my parents went to long beach and went to lunch or whatever and me and my sister stayed home and went to subway. mmm. now im sitting here on facebook and writing this while listening to john mayer mostly. oh, and all time low. well, i decided to make an honesty box. and some kid commented on it saying i was annoying. i think i know who it is but i dont know why he would say that considering, i just started talking to him. i think hes the kid that goes from girl to girl though. but im not going to judge because i DONT KNOW HIM! i wish i did though...whatever. i hate commack, NY. anyways, idek what im doing later. either movies with sister and her friend or ralphs house with people. i think im going to go to the movies. alright whatever, byee..

p.s who do you think you are saying thats all he wanted from her. yew are a MANWHORE. DONT EVEN TALK.

"cause in my dreams, your the one that keeps me asleep, on the nights where i can care less, if i ever woke up again"

today was an amazing day! i didnt do much but when my mom got home from work i went to return my camera. then macys. then we picked up hallie and we walked to king kullen and bought ices! then we hungout with mike seress. that was fun. havent hungout with him in a whilee. well the degrassi movie is on soon so i should get going. hershey tomorrow? yah, if were lucky. alrighty BYE.

p.s thanks for leaving my life, im better off wiffout you. (:

R.I.P checkerd vans

"close your eyes and make believe, forgeting all the memories, try to freaking

love, cause loves forgoten me"

-Paramore

i dont believe this. i thought you were supposted to be my friend. everything is falling apart as we speak. i cant do this much longer. i just want to get out of here. i want to move away from everyone. my best friend is being a bitch to me. i feel like she likes this guy i went out with. or he likes her but she wont tell me. i mean maybe she really doesnt like him but i can tell he likes her somewhat. im not the only one saying this either. yaknow what? im not going to care. im not worrying about other people anymore. im going to worry about myself. everyone else can do that but i cant? well they can suck it. im done. i just cant wait till tomorrow to show everyone who i can really be. whatever. im done caring. i can be a good friend and not worry about other peoples problems right? well, i think we just made up but whatever. guys should fall off the face of the earth. whatever im in the mood to start summer reading, BYE ASSHOLES!

p.s once, just once, i wish you know how i feel every single day of my life. but you never will.

"take my life, ill hand it to you, and you can try on my clothes, but you cant fill these shoes. on a silver platter your wish came true."

- all time low

yesterday was fun i guess. i went to gurwin which wasn't that bad. everyone was dancing haha. then i went to hallies for a while. we watched disturbia and shes the man. 2 really good movies. then me and hallie went to tropical smoothiee and back to my house. we hung out with lauren, devin and i. we watched harry potter and the sorcerer's stone. then lauren and hallie slept over. we woke up this morning and made pancakes and eggs. then lauren left and hallie wanted to walk to target. we got push pops and nerds! hha. then she left and now im writing this and listening to owl city! there really good. neyways, i think im going out to dinner with my mom later and hanging out with kristina or something like that. i should start on my summer reading project..yah...alright BAI!

p.s im so over yew! (:

"You would not believe your eyes,If 10 milllion fireflies,Lit up the world as I fell asleep"

-Owl City!

today was an alright day. gurwin from 10-12. pretty easy day. then hallie came back here and we watched 17 again and twilight. zac effron looks really good in aviators. haha after that, she left and then we went to the beach with dan, tom, her and i. it was fun not including the bugs, and what you told me. dont get me wrong i miss you too but i think you miss me differently then in the way i miss you. i know that you dont ever want to get back together and i respect that. but im not sher how im supposed to feel. well, i guess i should just forget about it because its not like anything is ever going to happen between us. like you said its the best thing for both of us. well tomorrow is another day to think about this. i also have gurwin again and im going back to hallies after. then, maybe the beach with kristina and devin. idk maybe just hangout with kristina. i guess we will see what tomorrow brings. night.

p.s it would be great if "i miss you" by the acceptance would stop coming up on shuffle.

"My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah "

- The Notebook<3!

Whoo! today was such a good day. me and my mom went to target and home goods and we looked around. i found a new camera and i returned my other one and got a new one. i think im going to like it a whole lot better. then, we picked up kristina and we went to ralphs. then we came back and we made gai jo bracelets lmfao! then we ate dinner and walked to "gai jo's" house haha. we were freaking out about how he was doing it with another girl. well...kristina was haha! then when she left my mom, my dad and i talked about vacation. which all of us need. now, im watching degrassi and i have gurwin. so i really should be sleeping. but this is my favorite episode so i cant. haha alright well tomorrow, i think after gurwin me and hallie are going to hangout and then i dont know whats happening after. i want to go to sunken meadown one night but im not sure when were going to go. im leaving to go watch degrassi. BYE.

p.s thanks for helping me realize that your not worth wishing over.

"so i'll escape, escape to where i need to be,the water's getting higher and i need to breath,where do we go now, i'll ask you once again,with our lungs gone, our lives are gone,open up my chest, you'll,find no heart for this,curiosity has taken over my insides,eating away at my bones,when does this end"

i think friends are the most important thing in a persons life. they can get you through the toughest times in life. when your having one of those days where nobody can make you feel better. there's always a best friend that can make your day brighter. when there's a day and you look like shit. they will make themselves look like shit, just to make you feel better. i have a best friend like that. when you feel like the world is on your shoulders there will be that one person to help you hold it high over your head. sometimes there are days where you feel like giving up on everything and giving up life's journey. but then there will be that person that will remind you why your on this earth in the first place. the people that help you thought the rough times in life are the ones that truly care about you. this blog is to thank you. you've been there for me, through mostly every rough patch in my life. well, the ones you were around for at least. you might think this blog could be about anyone else, but its about you. we shared so many great memories together even when we fight for like 5 seconds we always will get over it. that you for sharing the good times with me and comforting me through the bad. through the think and tin. ill be here whenever you need me, because i know you have been there for me. i hope we will be friends till the end. wherever life might take us, i hope we share more memories together. you can be stupid, annoying, and conceited sometimes but i could be a bitch all the time. everyone has there days. so thanks for dealing with me on my bad, bitchy days. i love you<3

yesterday was fun. i went to friendlys with my mom laurens mom kyle joey laurens dad, me, and lauren. the parents sat at a table and the "kids" sat at another. i noticed me and lauren laugh at the most pointless shit but its hysterical how we do. well, after that we went to jakes house with dom, sean, tom, matt, dan, ryan, jake, sean, and lauren. idek what dan and lauren were doing in the beginning. i thought someones head was gonna fly off any second haha. it was fun though. after that i came home and watched degrassi. as usual. today, is going to be boring, i have a feeling. i woke up watched more degrassi and now im going to play guitar. but when i was in my room cleaning out my desk i found all my old writings. i used to write in ccc almost everyday. i wrote one about friendship and i will type it on another blog in a few minutes. i do love looking back though. as bad as it is, im glad things are better these days..but anyways, i should go get dressed now haha. bye!

p.s im so over this bullshit. time for a vacation.

"You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had.I can forget, the times that I was,Lost and depressed from the awful truth,How do you do it?,You're my heroine!"

-Silverstein<3!

yesterday was okay. i didn't do much though. at night i had lauren over with tommy and max. we watched obsessed. we were all like yelling at the teve. it was interesting haha. then today, i think im hanging out with lauren. then me, her, Carolyn and my mom are going out to dinner together. then, im either going to jakes or hanging out with mike. im not sher yet aha. other than plans today ive been pretty good. i just wish i was going on vacation. i mean, i might be but were not sher yet. well im going to get dressed and write more lataaaa. BAI!

"Don't blink, They won't even miss you at allAnd don't think, That I'll always be gone,You know I've got you, Like a puppet in the palm of my hand, Don't you let me down.."

- A Day To Remember<3!

im to lazy to write. write tomorrow. goodbye!

i really dont get anyone. today was an amazing day, despite everything that happened between all 3 of us..i woke up and went straight to playing guitar. i learned into your arms by the maine. its a sweet song. anyways, then i went out with my mom to rent obsessed and the confession of a shopaholic. im watching the 2nd one as we speak. well, after we went to blockbuster devin came over. we went for a walk and watched the notebook. anyways, im not sher why were fighting. what are we even fighting about? me being mad that yew guys didnt invite me to the beach? nah. i wasnt mad. never was. i think to resolve alla this we should just ask eachother. we cant listen to the one that assumes. hey, everyone assumes. its a way of life. but i think we all should just ask the person themselves. they might seem mad but you don't know what else is going on in there life. they could be having trouble at home. or even trouble with themselves. I'm one of those type of people that would rather listen to other peoples problems then talk about mine. well i guess we will have to wait to see what happens. tomorrow, i think im going to hangout with max his "friend" and tommy. but we dont even know what were doing yet haha. it should be fun either way. well, im going to go finish this movie. maybe tomorrow i will write stuff about me? who knows. we will see what tomorrow brings and what type of mood im in. goodnight bbycksz.

"You say, you say that we're all tied up,And wrapped around in useless, useless states of mind,But at the same time we're still young,We have the time to realize that we were wrong,You can stay if you want to, And I write to you and tell you how you've always been so special to me,You can stay if you want to, and I’ll try,You can stay if you want to"

- The Scene Aesthetic! (:

#1 lesson in life...never trust anyone.

"arragont GIRL love yourself so noone has to.."

im not even sher why i try anymore. i try to be happy. and someone always just smacks it right now. my mom for instance, she sees me in jeans and a t-shirt but what does it matter if im just sitting home alone and not going out? i cant be comfortable in my own house anymore. "people judge by apperance stephanie and whats going to happen when you go for a job interview?!" all i say is "thats so diffrent and you know it." i really dont know what to do anymore. i dont want to change. to be honest, i like the way i dress...well..sometimes. sometimes i really dont care if im wearing sweatpants and a huge t-shirt all day. but i guess she cares. she says she does it out of love but im not sher how that shows love. whatever. fuck you. i really dont know. and my dad? hes never there anymore. hes always working and my mom gets so mad because were never together as a family. all day everyday im home alone. nobodys home. dont get me wrong, i dont mind be home alone. but i also love waking up and having everyone up together. i love vacations with my family too. the last one we had was on a cruise when i was about 10, 11? but it wasnt just me my mom my dad and my sister. it was people from my dads work. oh well. things will only change if i do something about it. but my mom does too. i cant be the only one trying all the time. well, sean and matt are coming over at 6 to play guitar. tomorrow, were going to matts house. that should be fun i guess. LAUREN COMES HOME TONIGHT. i cant wait to see her. its kinda bad haha. well, i guess i should go clean up before they come. kbye.

"One more thing.Why is it my fault? So maybe I try too hard,But its all because of this desire,I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny.Looks like the jokes on me,So call me captain backfire..."

-John Mayer

Today was so boring. i played guitar by myself all day. i also played piano. i love learning new music and playing it over and over again. haa. hopefully tomorrow will be more fun. sean is supposted to come over at like 6 to play guitar. i should actually start on summer reading tomorrow. im actually really nervous about it. we have this whole project and two books to read...im fucked. i need to read alot tomorrow. anyways, i should go so i can wake up tomorrow and read.

p.s my best friend comes home tomorrow!

" if it takes all night,i swear i'll wait,for you,forever.sunlight, sunshine,all for you my daisy.we're getting this before you leave,all for you my daisy.."

-The Maine<3!

yesterday was a good day. i had matt, dan, dom, tom, sean and kristen over. it might have seemed like i didnt want them over but that wasnt the case. i guess yesterday was one of those days i just wanted to sit by myself all day and think. i wish my 2 best friends could have been there but they weren't. its okay. me and dan talked alot. about mostly life itself. i would say it was a good conversation. im so over him though. i have moved on with my life and i decided i cant wait around forever, for something that i will never have. im glad i got over him so fast though. here and there of course i will miss him but thats the way of life right? anyways, today was a chill day. i woke up and found myself sleeping on the floor of my den. haha i forgot i slept downstairs last night. i cleaned around the house a little bit and then played guitar for the rest of the day. i want to learn into your arms by the maine and daughters by john mayer. then i will be set for a looonngg time haha. i dont really have much to say today except im glad i woke up today. i was thinking about everyone who has passed away this year and i should be happy im alive. like nickelback says, "each day is a gift and not a given right." so truee. i think im going to start enjoying life while i can. even if it means staying home sometimes and just enjoying alone time. ive been thinking about deleting the blogs about him. like the ones that are only about him. but im not sher yet. anyways, i should go, bye! (:

"She said "you're just a let down,Another one of my mistakes,I never loved you anyway,I never did and I never will..."She said "you're just a let down,All your friends,They feel the same,I never loved you anyway,I never did and I never will""

-This Providence!

Yesterday was fun. i went to tropical smoothie with jake, matt, ryan, tommy, max, hallie and me. it was so much fun. matt and ryan made me cry from laughing so hard. anyways, today i went to gurwin and worked in the adult day care place again. i feel really bad for some of the people in there. some of them talk to them selves, and some of them dont even talk. after that i came home and had to finish the chores. later, im having dom, tom, dan, matt, tommy, josh, sean, kristen, and maybe kristina over. i hope this is fun haa. tomorrow, i have gurwin and then i might be hanging out with devin. this is random, but i always wanted to know why i think of these stupid things. i feel like i cant open up to anyone. some people can open up to that one person about everything. i HAD that one person before everything all of a sudden changed. sometimes when i have to open up to someone it will be that one bestfriend but how long can i do that? how long can i open up to her and open up to this blog? who knows. alright, well i should go clean up more and get dressed and whatever. kbye.

p.s why does this song keep playing when i turn on the tv.?

"We watch the season pull up its own stakes,And catch the last weekend,Of the last week,Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,Another sun soaked season fades away.."

-Dashboard Confessional<3!

well, today i woke up and i saw $15 sitting on the table with a long list of chores to do. i did all of them except vacuum i hate vacuuming. now im stuck between 2 people. the 1st one ive known for a while. since 6th grade. we went out like 3 times. all of my friends are saying dont even bother trying again, but im not sher. the 2nd one is going to be a senior....we all know what seniors think about. hes really nice but can be awkward sometimes. but i still miss him. i dont want to at all. AT ALL. i would do anything to not miss him. whatever. today at like 3:00 i might go to tropical smoothie with my friends tommy, max, hallie and kristina. then at like 7:00 im hanging out with devin hallie and kristina but im not sher yet. hopefully everything goes as planned. alright. bye! 

p.s the mall was fun yesterdayy! (: i love my griffindor necklace! 

"Are you having trouble finding sleep at night,Or does your lack of conscience tell you every-thing's alright,I trust your good intentions, that you're watching over friends,But you must think that I"m crazy, if I don't see through that grin."

whattheeff. why am i not writing anymore. i used to have to write every  5 seconds and now im writing like every other day. i guess ive been busy. well yesterday i hung out with lauren and my mom and her mom. we wached a movie called the secret life of bees. it was somewhat depressing but good. it made me think about how good i have it. today, i had a garage sale with lauren and my mom. i made $73. so i have $209 together. i have to save $100 for my hair and the rest i can use on clothes. i need new ones DESPERATLEY. after the garage sale we went to kristens. alla us except kristina, matt and jake. it was fun. me and him talked for most of the time. i guess were just better off as friends but i just have to keep telling myself that or i will just fall head over heels again. even though there is someone else i still like. i did just meet him so i have to think about it. but time will tell.  tomorrow, me and hallie are prolly going to go to the mall. that should be very funn! alrighty..bye.